Story About My Mom : Asam pedas vs Tengkuk ayam

Time darjah 3:
Memori aku memang kuat mengingat masa silam. (Well kakak aku cakap aku ni memang nostalgik cket)Time tu keadaan keluarga agak susah dan sesak sikit. Semua tanggungjawab terpikul atas bahu mak yg sabar membesarkan 6 org anak time tu kakak sulung baru form 3, adik bongsu plak darjah 1. Memang sesaklah waktu tu, jarang2 makan nasik malam. Kerap kali  sekadar makan cucur bawang mak buat makan petang dalam pukul 6 pm macam tu dan malam kalau lapar sangat makan biskut kering atau roti benggali cicah teh.

 Makan malam pun kalau ada lauk mak masak tengahhari yg lebih, lauk tu la makan sorang sikit. Ada satu hari tu mak masak asam pedas ikan pari yg memang feveret aku (time tu bagi kami lauk ni memang mewah). Malam tu ada la lebih kuah asam pedas tu sikit. Aku ni plak yg memang kuat makan pun merengek lapar malam tu. Mak pun kikis saki baki kerak nasi dalam periuk dan masukkan dalam satu pinggan, letak kuah asam pedas pastu panggil aku dgn leh (adik bongsu aku) makan. Sedap sungguh nasik tu aku ingat sampai sekarang, mak aku tengok ja aku dgn adik aku makan dengan muka yg sedih. Adik aku makan sikit ja pastu dia taknak, aku pun sengaja berhenti makan tinggalkan saki baki dalam sesuap. Mak aku suruh habiskan tapi aku cakap kenyang, sedangkan saja aku tinggal untuk mak makan. Lepas tu kami pun buat kerja masing2, mak plak lepas habis basuh pinggan dan solat isyak, mak suka duduk atas buaian kat luar rumah  berzikir perlahan sambil melihat kadang2 orang lalu-lalang. Aku tahu mak sedih, tapi hanya itu yang mampu mak lakukan selepas sehari melayan kami, dia hanya mampu duduk diatas buaian mengenangkan nasib kami semua. Kadang2 mak menangis perlahan. Malam tu aku bisikkan pada hatiku, bila aku dah kerja dan senang nanti, takkan aku biarkan satu malam berlalu di mana mak sedih atau lapar.

Tahun 3 university:

Aku balik rumah, cuti. Aku sibuk study, next week ada 2 test & pbl (problem based learning). Mak mintak tolong aku belek2 resit, kirakan berapa banyak yg dah bayar utk rumah yg mak dah beli. Aku pun kira pastu aku bebal sebab resit tu dah bercampur2 ada yg 1 payment tp 2 resit. Lepas tu aku sambung study. Mak cakap lagi pasal resit2 tu. Dengan suara sedikit meninggi ku cakap "Time hanip study janganla cakap pasal duit, tension la!" Mak aku hanya senyap. Dalam hati aku rasa bersalah meninggi suara tadi. Dalam pukul 6 lebih mak ke dapur, "mak tanya malam ni nak makan tak hanip?" Aku jawab " kalau ada lauk hanip makan la".


Pastu aku ke dapur, mak sendukkan nasi tengah hari td dari rice cooker (sebab nak masak nasik lagi). Aku pun amik sikit nasik tengah hari tadi, aku tanya mak ada lauk tak. Mak cakap "Ada tu mak tinggal kat ampa sorang seketul ayam jangan amik lebih nanti tak cukup, mak pun amik tengkuk ja" Aku pandang semangkuk ayam masak merah tengah hari tadi yg memang mak masak special setiap kali aku balik sebab ni ayam masak merah pun feveret aku gak sejak kecik.


Aku tengok dalam pinggan mak ada nasik, 1 tengkuk ayam dan sedikit kuah. Aku pun amik seketul ayam yang paling kecik sekali, pastu sambil makan aku teringat balik cerita time aku darjah 3 tadi tu. Dalam hati rasa sebak, sambil aku makan pelan2 aku tengok muka mak berulang kali. Masa dah berlalu, tapi kasih sayang mak pada anak dia tak pernah berubah, aku pulak semakin besar semakin lupa kat mak aku, duk kat kl tu bila nak exam atau ada masalah baru teringat nak telefon mak. Harap Allah beri kesempatan untuk aku balas jasa mak aku dan buat mak aku senang. Hanip mintak maaf mak.....

Geram

Cerita 1:

Hari ni pi fotostat buku, tinggal la kat kedai tu.. Dia suruh ambik malam, tapi dah 2 kali p kedai tu tutup, kat pintu kedai ada number phone, try call owner tu berkali2 dia tak jawab. Hati rasa geram, kalau nak berniaga menyusahkan orang lebih baik jgn berniaga. Esok dah nak balik penang, kalau kedai tu tak bukak esok nampak gayanya kena amik minggu depan la tapi minggu depan exam.

Cerita 2:

Pagi tadi p hiking di bukit broga, p bertiga, aku yang ajak. Ada sorang member ni dia asyik mengeluh je keje. Ada je yg nak dicomplainnye sepanjang jalan. "Tak cantik la tempat ni, menyesal la datang, korang ni mcm ni la, mcm tu la." Kalau ikutkan hati rase mcm nak tolak je masuk gaung tu, merosakkan mood orang je dah la pagi2 sebelum subuh time tu, kalau ko x suke jangan la datang. Dalam hati ni membara je tapi just senyap je la (When i m silent, there is something wrong). Pastu teringat pesan en azhar (pegawai jabatan kebajikan msyrkt di rumah seri kenangan cheras tempat buat ko-k), dia cakap kita kena selalu maafkan kawan. Jadi sabar je la, pas beberapa lama cakap la balik, senyum je walau dalam hati agak sakit.

Cerita 3:

Takde ape2 cerita dah... Cuma sejak kebelakangan ni rasa asyik nak marah orang je keje tapi senyap je la cuma waktu time2 mood x menentu ni sape yg cari pasal mmg aku tarik muka je la.

Positive People

There are many things that happen lately.. And it make me think..Thinking made me tired. Untouched note that keep on piling. I have become so unorganized. Actually im not going to talk about how unorganized i am, instead, i want to talk about negative attitude, not in a sense of how we behave to others, but on how we view matters or problems. My friends always tell me that i am so emotional in behaving to certain circumstances which i do admit but not all the time and at the same time I believe many of us is just like that. Words has no  power to hurt you unless it come from the person that you care.

p/s: Lately I learned a lot of things through hard ways. But I am grateful to be blessed by a few friends who would always be my listener when i need one and always supporting me from behind. U know who u r.

Lesson In Life

Hypocrite!!

Korang pernah tak jumpa orang yg cakap "i hate hypocrite!", "aku benci gila kat org yg hipocrite!" dan ayat2 yg sewaktu dengannya atau adakah anda tergolong dalam golongan yg macam ni? If u r one of this people then u r a bigger hypocrite!!!!

Because for me, most of us used to be hypocrite, it just the matter of how u define that word. Just take at look at this few definitions of hypocrite!!!! :

1. A person who engage in the same behaviors he condemn others for.

2. A person who profess certain ideals, but fail to live up to them.

3. Someone who complains about something but find themselves doing exactly the same thing.
 A: "i hate people that complain about other people, they're SO annoying!"
B: Shut up, hypocrite!


4. Someone who say they would never do something or never be like someone, yet turns around and does the thing that they say they will never do.

5.Someone who say they hate something but when someone else says they like it, they turn around and say they like it too. (A follower)

source: urban dictionary


Having read the definitions stated above, are u sure u never belong to any of the categories above? Come on la, how many time u have smile to the people that u dont like?

How many time u have being nice in front of someone but u condemn the person behind their back? Isnt that hypocrite??

You hate when people cheat you but it is ok for u to cheat.

How many time u have been trying to be nice to a person and conceal ur bad behavior??

U preach something that u dont do. Isnt that hypocrite?

I am a hypocrite and i treat different people differently and i did that for some reason but i hate someone who say they hate hypocrite and condemn me for being one!

QUote

 I sit on a man's back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means -- except by getting off his back. -leo tolstoy

Time

"It's sad when people you know become people you knew..when you can walk past someone like they were never a big part of your life..how u use to be able to talk for hours and how can barely even look at them..its sad, how time change.."

F.r.i.e.n.d

When i finished working today, i switched on my phone and i received a msg from my colleague back then in matriculation.

The msg is:

"We never know the true value of friends. While they live, we r too sensible of their faults. When we have lost them, we see only their virtues. Thus we cannot get much out of friendship unless we r ready to forgive each other weaknesses. Friends 4ver."

This is the msg which i used to sent to a friend of mine which r having conflict with my best friend.

p/s: the person who sent the msg r not in this pict

Choices

Last night while chatting with a friend. She told me something that made me think...

"Family is the choice Allah made for me while Friend is something that i choose"

I love my family but i think i have prioritize my friends far more than my family.

My family

to do list for today

Haloooo

This song remind me of a friend.. It remind me of my past which are not so far away. I feel so tired as i ponder upon the future and as i reminisce upon the past. Im stuck in between...